Goodbye!

Well, I have decided to move my emotional documentaries over to LiveJournal. Sorry fellow Xangans. I doubt I will be posting here anymore. If you want to come read/post find me at http://www.livejournal.com/users/jammustardj  Wuv you all! <3 CYA!

Sick of counting. Today is Saturday.

K. I managed to get through Hell Week without dying. So far the only things left to make up are math and Jap. Seriously lucky that they are giving me a break and letting me turn some stuff in during finals week. Mr. Gamble (my math teach) found out how much of what I was missing I would need to do to get a B, and gave me till tuesday to get it to him. Something like 7 assignments and some remaining questions on a test. I can do it I think. Japanese, I only have like 3 or 4 assignments. I should be ok. Nearly all of my classes are riding on finals. I figured out my most probable gpa would be a 3.571, which is the same as last year. So I am feeling slightly better. Yesterday Zack came over and we shot my airsoft around and played on my comp. Then I got in this huge fight with my mom that lasted till 1:30 in the morning. So, I got to bed at like 3:00 AM. Nevertheless, I had RSVP'd that I would be coming to the Dinkyland thing, but I didn't go. Sux too, since I actually had a phone convo with the ringleader, who I met once before but no mostly from online gaming experience. Aw well. At least I got some sleep. Woke up at 6:30...PM! Woot! Never even saw the sun! Anyway, I just sealed the deal with some guy I met on a forum to buy some PBall gloves from him. I know I don't need them, but I couldn't pass up a great deal. Got em for $12 shipped, when he payed $30. Not going to study/work today. Will start that tomorrow. Does anyone know what kind of music I like? Seriously, cause I don't. I don't know what genre/type of music I enjoy. I always just say "pretty much everything but Country, most Classical, and Macy Gray*. I like Ska, but in actuality I only know the names of 2 bands...maybe 3. Meh. Wtvr. I'm sure Zack or Syd could tell me. Syd seems kind of introverted right now, but I don't think it is just to me, as Zack has noticed it too. I'm honestly sick of trying to work things out with Mia. She wants to be a stubborn little bitch and hate me for no good or infact no reason? Fine. I don't need someone like that in my life anyway. Got my sticks back from Sam, but now she has a different pair. Hopefully, I will get those back soon. Not too much going on right now. I'm somewhat content, rested for today, and plan on renting/seeing a movie. I wan't to hang with the Azn Posse again! Melissa! Invite me to something! Zack's comp is still runnin low graphics even with his new uber dork amazing expensive card in it now. I sent him a program that might help though, so we'll see how that goes. I can't think of anything else to write so I leave you all with pics from the Disney event that I did not attend:

http://www.dogpoundgamers.com/photos/photo-thumbnails.asp?albumid=37

Have fun!

Fourty-Five/Six Days Since Last Entry

Well. I'm kind of sick of summing up my life here. I think I will just start posting what is on my mind. Well, today and yesterday were hellish. I have finals next week. I am far less than unprepared. I am trying to finish making up all my work by Friday (less than 2 days), which seems physically impossible. I still have a test in Japanese and Math to do along with all my work (30+ assignments). Oh, and for those of you who are thinking "Idiot, while you are whyning here about homework, you could be doing it," **WARNING - FOUL LANGUAGE COMMENCING** SHUT THE FUCK UP! I deserve a fucking break once and a while, and I DO NOT CARE if it makes my life even more difficult. I would rather have uber hell half the day and mild relaxation for the other half, than moderate hell all the time, driving myself INSANE! GAAAAAAAH! Anyway, yes my life sucks enormously. I hate school so much. I am so overworked that I have passed out. I think my vision is getting slightly worse from so much reading and writing (like Naru - haha). I seriously fucking hate the American education system. It is fucked. I have considered homeschooling. For the amount of information I will take in this year, I could have completed in a month at home. I have absolutely no time for my friends, for drawing, for fun, OR EVEN MY CLASSES! My grades are dropping. I don't know why I care so much about fucking GPA. I shouldn't. I am not even that sure about going to college, but I can't get myself to just SLACK OFF! Why am I bothering trying to get above a 4.0 when, if I do go to college, it will most likely be an Art College where they look a a portfolio?! BETTER YET, WHY AREN'T I TAKING ART CLASS?! GOD! Now on top of me being unwilling to give up on certain grades/classes, I am also having a hard time GETTING to work (such as now). I hate what I am doing/wasting with my life so much that it takes all my energy to just START! I am getting bitched at constantly by my family and friends about things I am already trying to do. I haven't hung with the Azn Posse in a good while and it makes me sad. I don't know what goes on in their lives anymore. They are leaving next year, and I fear that because of my fucking school life/hell this year, I will never talk to them again. I have fallen off the bandwagon and am losing touch with the people I care about. I bought a paintball gun a while ago, but have never had the time to use it or even fill up a tank to shoot it. Great. $650 bux that my school is preventing me from enjoying. I don't wan't to leave school because of the credentials and my friends, but I am highly considering alternate forms of education. As currently...I am not learning shit. Mia is pissed at me for reasons unknown...which in itself pisses the hell out of me. I have a feeling another person I know may have fed her misinformation for whatever purpose. Sam won't give me back my fucking drumsticks and I am too pussywhipped to figure out how to get them back. Sydney and I barely talk anymore. I don't make her, or anyone, laugh anymore. Gave her a present yesterday. Starfruit. It has sentimental value (I guess). I need to get Zack and at least Melissa a present too. I feel bad about it. I miss my Dad, and some things my Uncle said to me during break really pissed me off. Things about needing therapy because of my Mom's raising of me and my sleep deprivation.  Such hypocrisy coming from a weed-smoking hippy. My cat, Bwana, never came home. Makes me very sad. I really loved him. My cat, Sassy, is sick and sneezing while Bailey remains to be a dick to me most of the time. I haven't touched the drumset in months. No time for joy you know. Pedro can be a total asshole sometimes. And once again, I am too pussywhipped to confront him. Comments like me not being part of the drumline, or just taking my sticks without asking and doing shit with them. Made alot of rude comments to Zack too. Over the line. Wondering if I will ever be in a relationship. I want to. I don't care if it doesn't work out. I wan't to be able to embrace someone and feel the same love in return. I only imagine what that feels like. Yes, yes, it's true. I had an emo moment. I have about 23 math assignments left to finish tonight. I am not going to get any sleep again. I have been up since 4:00 AM this morning. I am dead tired, and it's only 8:00 PM. I was supposed to meet up with a group of friends I made from an online game I've been playing for a couple years for our second party/shindig/thing. Was gonna be at Disneyland from about 11:00 AM till night. BUT WAIT! OH YEAH! FINALS! HOMEWORK! HELL SCHOOL! So, most likely, instead of enjoying myself and hanging with friends I haven't seen in person since last summer, I get to STUDY! Yaaay fuckers ! I'll also be missing the chance to meet a legend in the drumline world on Saturday, and Mr. Combes will most likely use my absent-ness as an excuse to give me a B right before midterm grades. My mom just parked. She should have CPK pizza. Haven't had a good CPK since last year. Ex-neighbors abandoned cat just came in. Hot damn, this cat was in dire need of love and attention. All I did was sit here typing, and the cat was up on my lap purring and burrying her head into my chest. Poor thing. She's pretty weak, so my mom and I let her eat the cat food over here. Oh yes! Pizza here. Yumm. Pepparoni (sp) and BBQ sauce yummmm. Anyway, looks like practically all of my class grades are riding on this final. My GPA could be anywhere from a 3.14 to 3.86. Such bullshit. Mrs. DeArtola is a frikin moron. She doesn't seem to understand that if you make an extra credit assignment OUT OF 20 points, and someone gets 10...THAT'S A FAIL AND IT HURTS THEIR GRADE! Idiot. If she gets her fucking act together, I'll have an A in the class. God, that woman...er, rhino. Holy shit! Haha, while I was typing this, I absentmindedly ate 3 pieces of pizza! I'm on #4. Weeee! Ok, ummmmm. I have blueballs right now. I won't say why, because some of my lady friends read these posts. Hopefully that wasn't tmi. I have a bad habit with that. Somehow both junior high and highschool managed to learn of my mastery of bating in my first year there. Weird. (*now on pizza slice #5*) *nyum munch urgle* Learnin' summore drum stuff in my spare time (what's that?). Was going to get Mia a present of a scarf, since I lost one of her's a while ago, but it's really too late after Christmas. Besides, she'd probably still hate me. There is this punkass kid in my 4th period. Reminds me of my whole junior high culture. One minute he is this mellowed out student guy, next "what, bitch?!" ghetto asshole. He keeps slapping me when I am not looking. I have warned him that if he does it again I will punch him in the face...and I will. He seems to get it now. Jerkoff. AW FUCK! I just tipped up my pizza box to reach the keyboard and my pizza slice fell on the floor. (*cursing noises as I bend down*) Damnit! (*throws pizza slice away*) Oh well one left. (*begins eating again*) Well, I can't think of much else to say. So I leave you with a capture of my once gleeful self at approximately the same time last year as the picture currently in my profile:

http://www.geocities.com/jmaster_anime/Winter2003Formal015 

Heh.

Well, I'll link you to a portfolio with a bunch of pics from that day ^^ a year and a half ago:

http://www.dogpoundgamers.com/photos/photo-thumbnails.asp?albumid=34

Have fun. Bye now. Time for hell to rebegin. (*finishes off 6th/last slice of pizza*).

First post in 60 days!

Heh, I've been a bit busy, to say the least. I am in NO WAY going to attempt to describe everything that has happened since my last entry, so here is the quick overvew:

October: School - hell. Life - bad. Halloween - didn't even get a costume.

Nobember: Nothin happend. School - hell. Life - bad. Thanksgiving - ate a fucking to-go burger from Jerry's Deli and fought with my mom.

December: School - hell. Life - bad. Christmas - can't wait, but my family has like no money and I doubt I will be getting much.

I recently spent about all I had on a paintball setup, but at least it makes me happy. I can't wait to use it. I'm still receiving parts. My grades are turning to utter shit. I am getting so little sleep, I probably won't grow any more. I have not had ANY time to draw, and it is REALLY dissapointing me. Girl stuff is kind of weird. Some good, some bad, some scary. I miss hanging out with my AzN posse, but I also miss having fun with my sophy buddys! I never saw Matrix Revolutions (even if it was bad, I don't care, I still wanted to see it) nor Kill Bill (DAMNIT I WANTED TO SEE THAT REALLY BAD!), but I better see LOTR or I am fucking killing Notre Dame...with a pike...and a hammer. ANYWAY! Having fun messing with Syd and Mia. I am beaten and bruised from Sam at band practice. I have band on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and fucking Sunday this week. It must be Mr.Combes' time of the month. Drumming is still enjoyable. Finding out if I have a spot on the competition line tonight. I deserve to more than most. If I don't make it, I won't play in it at all, but I will say this much...if I do not make bass drum...and Casey makes tennor...I am fucking shooting Mike in the head...with bees...angry bees...with lazers attached to their heads...and acid stingers...and...and...fuck it, I'll take a bat to his kneecaps! GAAAAAAH! Ok, on a more sane note, um, I will be reinstalling my computer soon. It is turning to total crap. Going to take some work by me. Probably going to start in Christmas Vaca cause I won't have a comp for a bit. I really like the Johnen Vasquez and Roman Dirge comics I am reading. Thanks Syd. Ah ok time to end this. I will try to make more time to post here. I miss my friends, as while I see them all the time, I am too busy to do/say anything. SOMEONE SAVE ME! Get Mrs. Landiguin! Tar, feathers, nails, fire, vinegar, blades, and gunpowder to be issued shortly! BLAAAH! Oorgle!

Fifteenth, Sixteenth, Seventeenth, Eighteenth, Nineteenth, Twentieth, Twentyfirst, Twentysecond, Twentythird, and Twentyfourth time

Jeez, been a long time. It's hard to remember the order of everything that happened since my last entry but here it goes. I think the weekend of the 20th I just did homework and slept constantly. That last week before my last entry we had band rehearsal and a football game at home. We lost. Boo-fuckin-hoo in my opinion. Football licks my ass X(. That whole week homework and tests were insane. Weekend I wen't to Alex's house and he, Charlie, and I started making a stomp (that drum show thing with trash cans and shit) for the Jester's court. Fun. Then Sunday was all homework and no sleep. Not fun. Next week = more homework and tests. Little sleep. 'Nother rehearsal. Found out that to be in pit again I have to learn all the "major and minor scales"....WTF?! WTF IS A SCALE! I was in the pit last year, we won high pit, I can memorize music faster than your brain fucking works to process 2+2, and I can't be in pit because I can't read music, Mr. I-Have-No-Life-But-Drumline??? FUCK YOU! I hate the way music is written and I'm not going to learn it for some eminem emulating punk who has to belittle highschoolers to get his kicks. If he wants someone who can play, I'll be waiting. If he wants some amateur who reads music like a good little student he can go fuck himself. I am failing English like the rest of our class because Mrs. Landiguin is a fucking psycho. I hope to God (or wtvr) that our conselor steps in when she realizes the whole class is failing and fucking kicks Landiguin in the balls (which she must have) and give us all A's. Pedro and miguel team pushed me (miguel in a ball behind my feet and Pedro pushing forward) during band. Usually no big deal, but now I have this huge scrape on my elbow and it keeps cracking open over and over. Really hurts. Ok back to not talking like a sailor....Friday was another home-football game. I hit my hand on the drum and put a gash into it. Alex finally put a hole in his drum head. Took a lot of hits. Dropped one of my sticks below the stands and some trash kid tried to take it. Zack watched us from the field and made notes and stuff for the school paper. Go Zack. Saturday I went up to my Dad's in Laguna. We ate some food and I randomly fell asleep and didn't really wake up much. Therefore, Sunday was all homework...and maybe some pizza. Barely finished what was due monday, so now (monday) I have to start and finish this ginormous Japanese project when my computer won't even fucking (sorry Julie) type in Japanese! Ugh! Anyway, I was going to go paintballing with Charlie for the first time ever next Saturday, but now it seems like I'll be starting Driver's Ed instead, which I need/want to do as well. Dunno! So, now after having a heated argument with my mom ( = Jamian cries  ) I will be starting my Japanese project at 7 in the god damn evening. Ugh. Stress seriously sucks ass. Well, off I go. Oh yeah. In case those who know about this thing and read my Xanga, the whole No Wacky-Wacky Cause thing? Yeah, I'm out. I failed twice on Friday. Goodluck to Dom, Miguel, Pedro, Kevin, and those two other girls I don't know. 100 days is a long time. 'Specially seeing as I went 4 days....So, bubye now. Hopefully I can update more often....maybe....if I don't die....